It’s Over with my Boyfriend. How Can I Heal and Move Forward?

Ask Shaman Lizzie

February 7, 2024

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Dear Shaman Lizzie: My live-in boyfriend of 8 years told me our relationship was over in September, 2023 and moved out soon after. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I’ve not been able to move on and think about him all the time. What can I do to help me get thru this Lynette, Pasadena, TX.

Dear Lynette: Hello and thanks for your question. Going through a breakup can be one of the most challenging and emotional experiences in life. Whether it’s a recent separation or a long-term relationship that has come to an end, the pain can feel overwhelming. You’re wondering how to move on after your boyfriend of 8 years suddenly broke up and moved out, and this article is here to offer you some guidance and support.

1. Give Yourself Time to Grieve

It’s important to allow yourself to feel the pain and sadness that comes with a breakup. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you had imagined. Cry, scream, write in a journal, or find a healthy outlet for your emotions. Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to not be okay for a while.

2. Focus on Self-Care

During this difficult period, prioritize self-care to help rebuild your emotional well-being. Take care of your physical health by eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular exercise. Treat yourself to activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading a good book, taking long walks in nature, or spending time with loved ones.

3. Seek Support from Friends and Family

Reach out to your support system and lean on your friends and family for emotional support. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you. They can provide a listening ear, offer advice, and help you through this challenging time. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone.

4. Reflect and Learn

Take this opportunity to reflect on the relationship and learn from the experience. What were the issues that led to the breakup? Are there any patterns or behaviors that you can identify and work on for future relationships? Use this time to grow and become a stronger, more self-aware individual.

5. Rediscover Your Passions

Explore activities and hobbies that bring you happiness and fulfillment. Reconnect with the things that make you feel alive and passionate. Use this time to rediscover yourself and your own interests. Engaging in activities you love will not only distract you from the pain but also help you regain a sense of identity and purpose.

6. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you find yourself struggling with depression or unable to cope with the breakup, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with the necessary tools and support to navigate through this challenging period. There is no shame in reaching out for professional guidance.

7. Give Yourself Permission to Move On

While it’s natural to miss your ex-boyfriend and wonder if there’s a chance to get back together, it’s important to give yourself permission to move on. Accept that the relationship has ended and focus on your own personal growth and happiness. Understand that sometimes, letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Remember, healing from a breakup takes time, and everyone’s journey is different. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate through the ups and downs. Trust that with time, self-care, and support, you will heal and find happiness once again. You deserve it!

Love and Blessings,


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